THE 2014 BROWNS MEMES AWARDS

 Welcome everyone to the 2nd annual Browns Memes Postseason Awards!

The Browns ended up 7-9 which on the surface sounds like improvement.  However the record seems a bit jaded when you factor in the fact this team was 6-3 and riding high in the division.  If you factor in the fact that the team went through a period that looked like something out of a scripted nightmare.  If you think about the fact we now have almost zero value at the QB position.  So much went wrong in a very short period of time.

So where can we find some positives?  Well we can't, but it is sports and we are playing for awards.  If we can't earn awards the traditional ways (winning, in case you have forgotten by now) then someone is going to have to make some awards up for them.  That someone is me.  So with no further delay I present the most prestigious awards a player can earn from a goofball Twitter account... The Browns Memes 2014 Postseason Awards!

First I would like to recognize Josh Gordon as the 2014 Idiot of the Year.  He is the only award winner from this year to have won his award before the season even started.  Despite tremendous efforts from Justin Gilbert and Johnny Manziel to pry this award from Gordon's hands they just couldn't.

I always thought Browns Twitter made severe fun of Indians Twitter due to the overuse of silly nicknames and slogans... then WRECK THIS LEAGUE became the rallying cry for the backup quarterback to enter the game and instantly become some weird hybrid of all the greatest qualities of Randall Cunningham and Joe Montana wrapped into a barely 6 foot tall fratboy.  WRECKED MY TEAM is more like it.

Last year a streaker in the preseason stole the Run of the Year from the entire stable of running backs.  This year a man in the Dawg Pound shed two blocks from Bengals fans and laid the first hit of the day on Jeremy Hill... one row deep in the stands.  Congratulations Rhett, you earned this one!

For a short period of time this year it looked like we finally scared the same old Browns away.  Isaiah Crowell helped with that.  This lightning run against the Falcons was one of the better runs I've seen from an actual running back in a good long time.

I'm glad that we are retaining our coaching staff.  Our defense did a lot of good things.  But offensively we were a bit of a joke.  Most of the dumb coaching blunders of the season seemed to come while we had the ball.  Take this gem early in season, where the Browns broke almost every written and unwritten rule in football.  And couldn't even get set to run the play...

This year I thought it would be fun to let the fans in on the voting as well here is the results for the fan polls for Biggest Letdown, Biggest Surprise and MVP of the season.

Congratulations to all of our esteemed winners.

AT LEAST JOHNNY WASN'T THE WORST

All year long I've been told that Johnny Manziel is the greatest QB ever to walk the earth.  Not by all of you, but by many of you.  For a minute I would challenge people with a. "what if?" but nobody wanted to hear that.  So I gave up and hoped for a redshirt year.  Then Brian Hoyer fell apart, and I knew I better stockpile some positive Johnny jokes now, because there was a chance I would never get to use them again.  Then Johnny's debut came and it all went to hell so quickly I didn't even get to post all of the jokes I had made.

While I certainly had my concerns about Johnny Manziel coming into this game, he did a hell of a job of making those concerns a screaming reality last Sunday.  The Flail Mary I spoke of pre-draft is almost a gift wrapped interception in this league, that was proven to no longer be a guess... it's a fact.  There was very little positives to be pulled from that game.  I didn't see many of the qualities that were promised to me when I expressed my doubts. I've been told to have patience it's only been one game, but...

So yes now there is fear on my part that come next week an old friend might just be auditioning for our GM...

Yeah didn't think about that did ya?

So I need something to distract myself from the thought that the odds of Johnny Manziel playing so poorly the QB situation will be addressed this offseason, possibly by a guy like Derek Anderson who might just whoop our asses next Sunday, has raised higher than a zero percent.

So I went on search for a worst starting debut than Johnny had on Sunday, out of the 20 men who preceded him.  And believe it or not I actually found 5 of them.  So here is one of the saddest countdowns you will ever see.  The 5 worst Cleveland Browns QB debuts since 1999.

#5 Brandon Weeden vs Eagles 2012

#4 Doug Pederson vs Steelers 2000

#3 Ty Detmer vs Steelers 1999

#2 Bruce Gradkowski vs Steelers 2008

#1 Spergon Wynn vs Jaguars 2000

So there do you feel better... I don't.

ASK THE BROWNS MEMES GUY

When I started posting Cleveland Sports jokes a year and a half ago I had no idea what I was doing.  I posted almost exclusively to my blog, and used Twitter as a secondary promotion tool.  Over time the roles reversed.  My Twitter account became much more popular than I could have ever imagined, with this blog becoming secondary.

This is fine with me because I don't aspire to be a traditional sports writer.  It was never a goal of mine to be a news breaker, I just like posting my jokes.  However in the past couple weeks I have tried several times to update this blog, and my irritation with some of the narratives in Cleveland sports shone through in my writing.  I will never post those articles because they are out of character for me.  Its not my job to tell people how to feel, and its not my business to try to make people see things my way.

I'm not ready to abandon my blog quite yet, so I've come up with an idea.  I would like to create a type of forum here.  So I'm inviting everyone to send me questions.  Then periodically I will choose several to answer here on my blog.

Obviously I would prefer sports questions, but feel free to send me anything you might have.  Who knows you might inspire my next meme.  Either way if I choose your question you will get a mention on both my blog and Twitter, and probably a dumb answer to boot.  Who could ask for more?

So if you want to contribute please send your questions to @BrownsMemes on Twitter and tag them with #AskBrownsMemes

THE HALFWAY POINT

The only thing I know for sure about the 2014 Cleveland Browns is that I know less about the team now than I did before the season began.  Never in all of my days of watching this team play have I seen more bizarrely unpredictable play.

But one thing I know for sure is that they are better than the old Browns teams.  But reading many people's narratives of this team you would never believe it.  To see the amount of people complaining about the QB situation and digging for negatives is crazy to me.  To have five wins at the halfway point of the year is an incredible feeling.  So lets go down memory lane, as I stack up games 1-8 head to head against last year's team and lets see if anyone would want to live through last season again instead.

Game One:

2014  Browns 27 - Steelers 30 - The season couldn't have started worse, the team bumbled to a 27-3 halftime deficit.  However the Browns came out in the second half like an entirely different team scoring 24 unanswered points to tie the game late in the 4th quarter.  However the team ran out of gas at the very end of the game giving up a game winning FG in the last seconds.

2013  Dolphins 23 - Browns 10 - The Browns finally mustered some offense just before half to take a 7-6 halftime lead.  That was their highlight as the Browns fell apart and Ryan Tannehill and the Dolphins cruised through the 2nd half outscoring the Browns 17-3 from that point on.

Advantage: 2014   

Game Two:

2014  Saints 24 - Browns 26 - In a game where most experts gave the Browns no chance to even be competitive in their home opener the Browns outplayed the Saints through most of the 1st half.  However the Browns missed some opportunities and gave up some late points and still led the game 16-10 at the half.  However this week the Saints managed the comeback and took a late lead in the game.  Then the unthinkable happened.  Brian Hoyer led a clutch drive setting up a Billy Cundiff game winning FG.

2013  Browns 6 - Ravens 14 - Once again the Browns wasted a good defensive effort, only managing 6 points at halftime. The Ravens quickly erased the deficit and added one more TD for good measure.  Brandon Weeden was injured in the 4th quarter and Jason Campbell didn't have a chance either.

Advantage: 2014

Game Three:

2014  Ravens 23 - Browns 21 - The Browns managed to hang tough with the Ravens, and heading into the 4th quarter held a fragile 21-17 lead.  Brian Hoyer hit Taylor Gabriel on 70 yard pass that looked like it was going to setup some insurance.  The Browns didn't do another thing right that game.  The entire offense and defense fell apart and the same old Browns reared it's ugly head.

2013  Browns 31 - Vikings 27 - After a shocking week Trent Richardson was traded and Brian Hoyer was named starting QB.  The next shocker was the fact we had offense for the first time in 2013.  In the first exciting game of 2013 the Browns hung tough, but found themselves down by 4 in the 4th quarter.  Then the unthinkable happened.  Brian Hoyer led a clutch drive finding Jordan Cameron for a game winning touchdown.

Advantage: 2013 

Game Four:

2014  Browns 29 - Titans 28 -  The Browns had another first half meltdown in this game, building a 25 point deficit in the 2nd quarter.  However the Browns scored 28 unanswered points to end the game completing the largest road comeback victory in NFL history.

2013 Bengals 6 - Browns 17 - In one of the most drama free games in a while the Browns managed to hold an early lead for the entire game.  The Browns put this game on ice in the 4th quarter with Hoyer's 2nd TD pass of the game.  The Bengals offense didn't have an answer.

Advantage: 2014

Game Five:

2014  Steelers 10 - Browns 31 - In the biggest win over the Steelers in decades, the Browns beat the Steelers from pillar to post.  The only negative in the entire game was the fact that Alex Mack would be lost for the season.

2013  Bills 24 - Browns 37 - Brian Hoyer's season ended during the Browns 2nd offensive series.  This opened the door for Brandon Weeden to reclaim his job at QB.  Weeden wasn't terrific, but Travis Benjamin was.  His punt returns set up several key touchdowns taking the Browns winning streak to three games... but now we have to go forward with Weeden.

Advantage: 2014

Game Six:

2014  Browns 6 - Jaguars 24 - In one of the biggest momentum killing losses in recent memory, the Browns didn't show up in any aspect of the game.  Jacksonville literally had a blowout handed to them in this game.

2013  Lions 31 - Browns 17 - In one of the biggest momentum killing losses in recent memory, the Browns took a 17-7 lead into halftime.  After the half the Browns self destructed as the Lions put up 24 unanswered points.  The game will probably be best remembered for Brandon Weeden's flipper pass interception in the 4th quarter to seal the game for the Lions.

Advantage: None, both of these games can burn in hell

Game Seven:

2014  Raiders 13 - Browns 23 - This certainly wasn't the prettiest game in the world.  But the Browns took advantage of the Raider's mistakes and handily won this game.

2013  Browns 13 - Packers 31 - The Browns traveled to Lambeau Field, and did exactly what everyone expected them to do... get blown out.  Weeden was horrible, and lost his job again after this game.

Advantage: 2014

Game Eight:

2014  Buccaneers 17 - Browns 22 - The Browns running game continued to struggle since the loss of Alex Mack, but the passing game picked them up.  Hoyer threw for over 300 yards for the first time this season, and the Browns hung tough and picked up a hard fought fifth win of the season.

2013  Browns 17 - Chiefs 23 - Jason Campbell became the 20th starting QB for the Browns since 1999 at Kansas City.  And after not being able to complete the comeback after a 20-3 Chiefs lead, became the 20th QB to take a loss.    

Advantage: 2014


So tell me again why people are so upset.  I have the 2014 season up 6-1-1 versus the 2013 team.  And the only time I picked that team was Hoyer's debut.  Let's not forget those 5 wins we have at the halfway point is more than the 2013 team mustered all season long.  They won their next game and never won again.

So calm down people, the most alarming things about this year's team is the offensive and defensive lines.  We have some work to do.  But sit back and enjoy it for a change.

DO I NEED TO STEP UP MY GAME?

I post jokes about Cleveland sports.  Not much more, not much less.  I cover sports in my own weird way.  I caption pictures in the same fashion as you would in a meme generator website.  Some are funny, some are not.  You guys usually will tell me which is which.

I don't take myself super seriously.  While I consider myself a minor member of the sports media, I don't need a press pass to do what do.  I'm not trying to change the world.  I think I can entertain you without dealing out endless false information to try to get a major scoop, or regurgitating old stats.  I cover sports.  Covering sports really can be as simple as who scores more points.

There have been some moments that it hasn't been that simple.  Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson were necessary diversions.  I think many of us can agree we really don't need to pay to see scumbags like that have the perks of being a professional athlete.  And the media did their part to ensure the league held individuals like that accountable.

But I'm not really going to sing the praises of the media here.  It was simply a rare positive byproduct of sports coverage (particularly the NFL) moving so far outside the lines, that it finally ventured behind closed doors.  Don 't forget that before Ray Rice the narratives for the NFL were simply Johnny Manziel's personal life, and Michael Sam's sex life.  No football playing, but a tabloid inspired trash fest of garbage news.

I quit ESPN when Tim Tebow came into the NFL for this very reason.  The only reason that I know that ESPN was obsessed about these issues is because nobody else seemed to have quit them.  Every time I read my feed on Twitter somebody is complaining about what ESPN is covering, but they don't quit watching.  So if nobody else quits watching I guess I can't expect this ever to change.

For this very reason I depend on our local reporters for Browns news.  I've carried a bit of pity for many of these folks, because how fun has it been to cover this team?  I remember when I started this, every joke was so negative.  At the time what did I have to celebrate?  Someone asked me what I was going to do if the Browns ever were good.  I said, "simple, make fun of the other team." I think yesterday was a great example of my evolution.  Apparently our jaded local boys were not ready to evolve.

During victory Monday, someone had the gall to stick a microphone in Brian Hoyer's face and try to drag some contract drama out of him.  They succeeded, and managed to spin his answer into a narrative to him not signing with Cleveland unless Johnny Manziel is gone.  Happy birthday Brian.  Way to beat the Steelers.  Have fun dealing with the media driven backlash this is about to cause.

The fact is that common sense would say that this sensitive contract situation will not be handled until this offseason.  It is the smart way to go.  We should wait a full season and see the body of work that Hoyer can put on the field.  We should observe how hard Manziel works this season to improve his status and go from there.  Not ruin the most joyous day in recent memory by falling into the negative, trashy media hole the rest of the world seems to have fallen in.

So once again the media stirs the pot, I get it when the going gets tough but this time completely baffles me.  This fragile fan base that still has a portion that loves the winning, but can't be satisfied with the personnel we are winning with has a new soapbox to cry from.  And frankly it pisses me off.

Does the joke guy need to step his game up?  Because right now some of the media is better at telling jokes than me.  The issue is that those guys don't realize they are telling them.  Be careful guys, because too much more of this and the jokes will start falling on you...

   

PITTSBURGH WEEK HAD A HAPPY ENDING

To be fair the Browns and Steelers rivalry has never been that good.  The Browns dominated the 50's and 60's. But 1970 brought on a new day and the "Three Rivers Jinx" took hold for the Browns as they watched the Steelers move on to be a dominate dynasty in the NFL.  The mid 80's finally shifted in the Browns favor, and once again they were the better team.  Then the mid 90's the rivalry shifted back into the Steelers favor.  From there the Browns moved to Baltimore, which for Steelers fans replaced the rivalry with Cleveland.  And since the Browns returned to the NFL in 1999 they have failed to recover the passion in the rivalry, making losses to the Steelers a nearly bi-annual tradition for us for the past decade and a half.  It has dampened a rivalry that still has passion and fire, but also is marred by the fact that Steelers fans see the Browns games as a guaranteed win.

That was until 2014.  The season series started with the same old vibe.  In two quarters of play the Steelers made mincemeat out of a seemingly overwhelmed Browns squad.  And after going into the locker room leading the game 27-3, Steelers fans smugly gloated while Browns fans licked their wounds in an all too familiar scene.  But that was the moment the "same old Browns," died.

For all the errors the Browns committed in the first half of that football game, the team came out of the locker room and punched the Steelers straight across the mouth.  The team rallied to tie the game in the 4th quarter, and the Steelers only barely escaped with the win on a last second field goal.  But instead of leaving with their heads held high, the Steelers were left with a win that felt more like a kiss from their sister.

While at least that was progress for the Browns, it wasn't a win but it was something.  Knowing we had a rematch just a few weeks away, many of us hoped that maybe the 2nd half of that game was something more than the Browns just catching a Steelers team who had fallen asleep at the wheel.

When Pittsburgh unholy football team made it's visit to the shores of Lake Erie there was something that felt different.  Excitement for Browns football as reached a level that hasn't been seen since the 80's.  Gone were the sections of terrible towels and black jerseys.  An army of orange and brown arrived instead to greet the Steelers into town.

And we were loud, obnoxious and ready to have a reason to scream.  The Browns entered the game with incredible momentum, and it showed as they cruised to a 21-3 halftime lead.  In normal situations this would usually be enough to feel very comfortable, but being a Browns fan it is a normal reaction to wonder how things are going to go wrong.  But this day was different.  The Browns kept the pedal to the medal, and very quickly turned Pittsburgh's hopes of their own comeback into garbage time.

The Browns 31-10 rout of the Steelers was a showcase.  A four quarter display of a new look Cleveland Browns team that is crawling out of the large shadows cast upon them by the other teams in the division.  A team that Cleveland can finally be proud of.  So for that I will spare you the same old recycled analysis you can get anywhere, and just celebrate with the rest of you.  Enjoy...

AT THE QUARTER POLE I HAVE MORE QUESTIONS THAN ANSWERS

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the first four games of the 2014 Cleveland Browns season.  And yes this team is insanely bipolar, unpredictable and crazy to watch.  There is a theory that this team could very easily be 4-0 right now, but the same theory applies to the fact that this team could very easily be 0-4 right now.  They probably should be 2-2 right now, but the thing is they haven't won both games they probably should have won, but didn't lose both games they should have lost.

Twice this team has completed the largest comeback in team history.  They are 1-1 in those games. They completed a 70 yard bomb to all but seal the Ravens games, and literally didn't do one single thing right for the rest of the game to ensure a loss.

When this team is good it is great.  When this team is bad it is unpalatable.  At times the "same old Browns" show their ugly faces,  Yet the offense isn't the problem, which is new for the Browns.  The defense is a huge problem, which wasn't supposed to be the case.

Yes it is very hard to deny that Brian Hoyer has finally managed to make believers out of many people.  Hoyer has a 6-1 TD to INT ratio and has a higher QBR than Brady, Brees, Flacco, and Stafford.  While there is still the painfully biased Johnny Manziel faithful still calling for Hoyer's benching, the consensus finally has agreed to stay the course with Hoyer for the foreseeable future.

While Hoyer hasn't been perfect, he has done a fine job of making his receivers better, not the other way around.  He isn't leaning on any one guy. Miles Austin and Andrew Hawkins have been very solid, but many of the biggest plays have been left for guys like Taylor Gabriel and Travis Benjamin.
But the real strength has been the fine core of running backs that the Browns amassed this offseason.  Gone are the days of watching a back smack into a rear end of an offensive lineman for a minimal gain.  This team can run, and run well.

Call them what you will the running backs have been awesome.  Ben Tate ripped off a huge run in the opener and got injured.  All that did was show us that we have two more awesome running backs in Terrance West and Isaiah Crowell.  Each guy is just different enough from one another that it has made for a tremendous opportunity to rotate and keep our running game fresh all game long.

So what is the catch?  Yes it is Browns football so there has to be a catch right?  The catch comes in the 31st ranked defense.  Yes the vaunted "wait until you see what these guys can do" defense that came with into town with Mike Pettine has been awful.

Each game has came and gone with large chunks of games exhibiting some of the poorest tackling you can hope for.  Running backs flow through our front seven like water passing through a strainer.  Receivers routinely run wide open through our secondary.  Our defense is a big play factory.  Their 6.1 yards allowed per play is tied for the worst in the league.

So no I can't tell you what to expect for the rest of this season.  I am not even going to embarrass myself with a guess.  If the defense improves we have a good chance.  If the offense stalls we are probably screwed.  It is as simple as that, now hopefully the games will be less stressful.