THE 2014 BROWNS MEMES AWARDS

 Welcome everyone to the 2nd annual Browns Memes Postseason Awards!

The Browns ended up 7-9 which on the surface sounds like improvement.  However the record seems a bit jaded when you factor in the fact this team was 6-3 and riding high in the division.  If you factor in the fact that the team went through a period that looked like something out of a scripted nightmare.  If you think about the fact we now have almost zero value at the QB position.  So much went wrong in a very short period of time.

So where can we find some positives?  Well we can't, but it is sports and we are playing for awards.  If we can't earn awards the traditional ways (winning, in case you have forgotten by now) then someone is going to have to make some awards up for them.  That someone is me.  So with no further delay I present the most prestigious awards a player can earn from a goofball Twitter account... The Browns Memes 2014 Postseason Awards!

First I would like to recognize Josh Gordon as the 2014 Idiot of the Year.  He is the only award winner from this year to have won his award before the season even started.  Despite tremendous efforts from Justin Gilbert and Johnny Manziel to pry this award from Gordon's hands they just couldn't.

I always thought Browns Twitter made severe fun of Indians Twitter due to the overuse of silly nicknames and slogans... then WRECK THIS LEAGUE became the rallying cry for the backup quarterback to enter the game and instantly become some weird hybrid of all the greatest qualities of Randall Cunningham and Joe Montana wrapped into a barely 6 foot tall fratboy.  WRECKED MY TEAM is more like it.

Last year a streaker in the preseason stole the Run of the Year from the entire stable of running backs.  This year a man in the Dawg Pound shed two blocks from Bengals fans and laid the first hit of the day on Jeremy Hill... one row deep in the stands.  Congratulations Rhett, you earned this one!

For a short period of time this year it looked like we finally scared the same old Browns away.  Isaiah Crowell helped with that.  This lightning run against the Falcons was one of the better runs I've seen from an actual running back in a good long time.

I'm glad that we are retaining our coaching staff.  Our defense did a lot of good things.  But offensively we were a bit of a joke.  Most of the dumb coaching blunders of the season seemed to come while we had the ball.  Take this gem early in season, where the Browns broke almost every written and unwritten rule in football.  And couldn't even get set to run the play...

This year I thought it would be fun to let the fans in on the voting as well here is the results for the fan polls for Biggest Letdown, Biggest Surprise and MVP of the season.

Congratulations to all of our esteemed winners.

AT LEAST JOHNNY WASN'T THE WORST

All year long I've been told that Johnny Manziel is the greatest QB ever to walk the earth.  Not by all of you, but by many of you.  For a minute I would challenge people with a. "what if?" but nobody wanted to hear that.  So I gave up and hoped for a redshirt year.  Then Brian Hoyer fell apart, and I knew I better stockpile some positive Johnny jokes now, because there was a chance I would never get to use them again.  Then Johnny's debut came and it all went to hell so quickly I didn't even get to post all of the jokes I had made.

While I certainly had my concerns about Johnny Manziel coming into this game, he did a hell of a job of making those concerns a screaming reality last Sunday.  The Flail Mary I spoke of pre-draft is almost a gift wrapped interception in this league, that was proven to no longer be a guess... it's a fact.  There was very little positives to be pulled from that game.  I didn't see many of the qualities that were promised to me when I expressed my doubts. I've been told to have patience it's only been one game, but...

So yes now there is fear on my part that come next week an old friend might just be auditioning for our GM...

Yeah didn't think about that did ya?

So I need something to distract myself from the thought that the odds of Johnny Manziel playing so poorly the QB situation will be addressed this offseason, possibly by a guy like Derek Anderson who might just whoop our asses next Sunday, has raised higher than a zero percent.

So I went on search for a worst starting debut than Johnny had on Sunday, out of the 20 men who preceded him.  And believe it or not I actually found 5 of them.  So here is one of the saddest countdowns you will ever see.  The 5 worst Cleveland Browns QB debuts since 1999.

#5 Brandon Weeden vs Eagles 2012

#4 Doug Pederson vs Steelers 2000

#3 Ty Detmer vs Steelers 1999

#2 Bruce Gradkowski vs Steelers 2008

#1 Spergon Wynn vs Jaguars 2000

So there do you feel better... I don't.

I USE COMPUTER SCIENCE TO PREDICT THE SEASON

Imagine if this season Madden wouldn't be released until playoff time, and when you opened the package Brandon Weeden was the Browns' quarterback and Trent Richardson was your running back.  Sounds crazy right?  Believe it or not it wouldn't be unprecedented.

Many older sports fans remember the original Nintendo Entertainment System's classic football game Tecmo Super Bowl.  However few people realize that when the game was released during the playoffs of the 1991 season, that the game was already horribly outdated.  The game literally featured the rosters from the 1990 season.  To put the tardiness of the rosters into perspective the video game's most legendary player Bo Jackson (or Tecmo Bo) had literally been gone from football for almost a year at the time of release due to a career ending injury.

How times have changed, thanks to aspiring programmers Tecmo Super Bowl didn't fade into retro gaming obscurity.  Instead Tecmo Super Bowl has become a favorite of game modders who have continued to faithfully recycle the game into updated versions much better than even the original programmers of the game.  If you are interested in these versions visit tecmobowl.org

However I thought it might be fun to take an updated version of the game for a spin.  The version I selected was a modded version created by a modder called QBVikings.  His version has relatively updated rosters that didn't seem to favor any particular team.  The player ratings seemed fair and true to their real life counterparts.  So I figured why not let the computer predict the upcoming season?

Before I show the results I want to make it clear that I did not intervene in any of the games, I simply let the computer determine the outcomes.  Since this version included Josh Gordon on the Browns roster I relegated him to the bench and ensured that he would not get to play.  However I also decided that the result of this experiment would also count as my official Browns prediction for the season.  So how are we going to do this year?  Let's find out...

Even the retro video game version of Josh Gordon was suspended.

Week One:@Steelers

While in the opener vs the Stoolers it looked more like Norv Turner running the offense again, somebody executed, and that somebody was Jordan Cameron.  He made some huge plays to help the Browns move to 1-0 and win their season opener.

Week Two: vs Saints

Suddenly the rear view mirror got reattached at the Browns lost a stinker in their home opener vs the Saints. The Browns dropped to 1-1 and Twitter exploded.

Week Three: vs Ravens

The Browns showed some toughness as a defense that was getting torched seemed to find big plays at the right time.  And why did Ben Tate only have 97 yards in this one?  Simple, the end zone kept getting in his way. 2-1 going into the bye, hmmm.

Week Five: @Titans

As the virtual fanbase worried about losing momentum on the bye week, there were rumbles since the playbook was simplified to 8 plays that Johnny should start week 5 despite the 2-1 start.  This game dashed those rumbles as the Browns routed the Titans at home.  Although Kendall Wright was awesome around garbage time.  The Browns were 3-1 and even ESPN was on board with Johnny studying under Hoyer.

Week Six: vs Steelers

Billy Cundiff hit the game winner in a surprisingly stout defensive battle to complete the sweep.  Cleveland exploded because we were 4-1 with Jacksonville coming up.

Week Seven: @Jaguars

Ben Tate was injured at the end of a 20 yard boost to begin the game.  And although the Jags added some late drama, the Browns won in surprisingly smooth fashion to open some eyes at 5-1

Week Eight: vs Raiders

Even the most ardent pessimist was starting to come around, and with the struggling Raiders coming to town it seemed like there was a very winnable game facing the Browns.  Unfortunately the Raiders simply outplayed the Browns on this day dropping the record to 5-2.

Week Nine: vs Buccaneers

While the Browns offense struggled for the second straight week, Brian Hoyer found a way to pull this one out in the end.  At the half way point the Browns lead the division at 6-2.

Week Ten: @Bengals

At this point Kyle Shanahan was hearing it for being a little too much like Norv Turner, but in this game it only got worse.  However Brian Hoyer responded and the Browns opened up some distance in the division moving to 7-2.

Week Eleven: @Texans

At this point panicked fans had no clue how to react as the Browns moved to an AFC best 8-2.

Week Twelve: @Falcons

In an absolute wild, and sloppy game the Browns found a way to pull this one out behind Hoyer's career day. But don't let the stats fool you Ben Tate had two of the TD's in this one. Browns improve to 9-2.

Week Thirteen: @Bills

Hoyer's hot streak continued though the next week as the Browns literally found a way to improve their draft status and still win. This one looked closer than it actually was as the Browns win a fairly drama free game and move to 10-2 with an almost insurmountable lead in the AFC North.

Week Fourteen: vs Colts

"Win and we're in" was the mantra of the week, and guess what we did? Went to 11-2 and did something we have never done...

Week Fifteen: vs Bengals

Now as home field advantage for the playoffs became the goal of course we were going to dink and dunk all over the field and blow the game against Cincy. The Browns drop to 11-3.

Week Sixteen: @Panthers

It was quickly becoming evident that the Browns weren't playing their best football since clinching the division.  The Panthers played a very tough game, but in the end the Browns squeaked out the victory, but didn't clinch home field advantage as the Broncos kept pace. 12-3 going into the final week.

Week Seventeen: @Ravens

Some people wanted to see Johnny Manziel for the regular season finale.  However with a win giving the Browns home field advantage and a guaranteed bye already, the coaches let Hoyer finish the season.  And alarmingly the Browns came out and looked very flat against a Ravens team that was in a must win game for a playoff spot. This loss gave the Browns a 12-4 record to end the season. 

Divisional Round: vs Chargers

Fans that were terrified that the Browns closed the season so poorly almost met their worst nightmares in this game. The Browns barely hung on to tie the game in the late moments in the 4th quarter then won on a Billy Cundiff FG in overtime to win it.  

AFC Championship: vs Chiefs

The Cheifs looked scary, they had decimated both the Patriots and the Broncos to set up the unlikeliest AFC Championship game in recent memory.  Brian Hoyer went off, but the Chiefs hung tough, forcing the 2nd straight overtime game winner for new Cleveland hero Billy Cundiff.  With the win the Browns would face off against a surging Packers team that just redeemed their opening day loss against the Seahawks in the NFC championship.

Super Bowl: vs Packers

The Browns defense smothered the Packers throughout the first half.  However the Browns offense sputtered throughout the entire 2nd half.  Brian Hoyer threw two key interceptions late in the game to allow the Packers to come back and claim the NFL's World Championship.

And even after Brian Hoyer's 12-4 season and making it to the Super Bowl guess who the media asked for after the game...

CLEVELAND SPORTS FAQ'S

Q: What did Brian Hoyer do to win the QB competition?

A: It is more what he didn't do that won it...

Q: Why did Kevin Love choose the #0?

A: Because he is used to being the superstar on his teams...

Q: What are the Indians chances of making the postseason?

A: Mathematics says more than 0% so...

Q: Can I get a refund on those Browns season tickets I bought?

A: No.

Q: Is there any hope for Steelers week?

A: I don't know, I just hope they keep Swagger on his leash...

Q: What is the worst thing about Cleveland sports right now?

A: There are Steeler flavored pierogies being sold in the area...

THE QUARTERBACK INCOMPETITION

Normally my post game rants I highlight some guys who played well and adversely call out some guys who under performed.  This week that is easy, the defense was really good and the offense was really bad.  As stupid and simplistic of an analysis that is, it really is the truth.  The defense is set, and outside of some injuries at CB the Browns defense looked mean, nasty and tough.  Three turnovers created by the first team alone should have set the tone for this offense in flux, but alas that didn't happen.

The reason that this is significant was that coach Mike Pettine wanted to name the starters, most significantly the starting QB.  So the battle of Brian Hoyer vs Johnny Manziel had its final showdown on Monday Night Football.  And did someone stand out?  No.

Our offense way abysmal.  It looked like the worst of Brian Daboll, Pat Shurmur, and Rob Chudzinski all combined into some new type of stupid that was painful to watch.  And more importantly created more questions than answers to a unit that appears to be in way worse shape than many of us feared. So what better way to end an annual QB controversy in Cleveland than a completely disfunctional game?

And as the dust settled after that stinker it was Brian Hoyer awarded the starting position over fan favorite Johnny Manziel.  Was it fair?  Did Hoyer earn it?  So lets take a look at both guys...

Truthfully that is where the positives end.  Brian Hoyer may have just won a QB competition doing the least amount of good things in the history of the NFL.  Boasting a 40% completion percentage and failing to convert third down, let alone a touchdown Hoyer has hardly given the Browns faithful a reason to forget about Johnny Manziel.

However I don't want to bury the guy, he certainly wasn't blessed with a ton of support from his teammates.  Hoyer's inaccuracy was amplified by some very poor WR play, and his decision making hampered in the last game with some very poor offensive line play.  The first team units under Hoyer looked disorganized and poor as a whole.

To be honest it is hardly the glowing endorsement I was hoping to give our QB going into the season, but I am guess I can see the coach's logic.  So if I can see the logic in it, how bad could Johnny have been?

    
Considering the above pic was Johnny Manziel's NFL highlight so far, I can honestly say that I wasn't blown away.  I haven't made it a secret that I don't see Johnny through the same rose colored glasses that many fans do.  Johnny looked every bit the college gimmick offense QB who probably came out of school too soon.  He did outplay Hoyer, but only barely.

While that may sound harsh, those aren't criticisms they are facts.  The truth is Johnny Manziel isn't Brandon Weeden, he's a 21 year old kid.  He has a lot of time, and an almost limitless ceiling.  But Johnny isn't any where near that ceiling right now.  The worst part of Johnny's game has been simple, but obvious... he isn't ready for the pro game.  Simply calling a play in a huddle is new to him, and it has been a struggle for him.  I noticed several instances where he turned to throw to a receiver who was running a completely different route than Johnny thought he was running.

Fixable?  Yes.

Fixable overnight?  Absolutely not.  

So I am sorry to the people who were Manziel or bust this season.  There are adjustments that people in Johnny's position need to make, and no matter how much you wish it to be true he is no exception.  Brian Hoyer has more experience, a better grasp on the offense, and in my opinion gives this team a better chance to win during this brutal stretch that starts this season.

The fact is that Brian Hoyer's window is small, if he wants to make a career as an NFL starter this is his chance.  It is now or never for him.  I hope that ending the competition will allow him to regain some of the comfort in the offense he showed last season.

And as far as Johnny Manziel goes, chill out people.  He isn't the exception to the rules, he's human and he will be well served to learn his position.  The logic that players don't get experience backing up veterans is flawed, and if you really are a fan of the kid let him learn.

And if they both turn out to suck, there was one bright spot at QB...