MY FAVORITES OF 2014

It's time to wash our hands of yet another playoff free year in Cleveland. I've had a lot of fun posting crazy jokes for everyone this season.  More fun than watching many of the games that these jokes were based on.  So to celebrate the new year I want to look back at some of my favorite jokes of the past year.

The year started with insanity.  The Browns fired the coach they had just hired.  There were a lot of questions about the front office.  Dysfunction seemed to be in order.  Nobody seemed to know their role, or who to answer too.  I would like to think this picture was single handedly responsible for the removal of Joe Banner and Mike Lombardi.

2014 was also mercifully the end of the Brandon Weeden era.  

Weeds was part of Jerry Jones master plan.

Meanwhile we still needed a coach...
Our search went everywhere... well almost everywhere.

And then we found one.

Thankfully the Indians started up because the NFL Draft narrative was getting old quick.  And I was ready for something to go right for at least one of our teams.  I've always liked this homage to the Super Mario Bros coin tone... but now that I look at it, it is already outdated.  The bullpen setup will be much different this year.  Awesome, can't wait for the trolls if I try to recycle this one this one next year.  

And finally the games started...

And thank goodness for Tom Hamilton, because the job didn't get any easier in the offseason.

 Then the Indians came out in April and just couldn't get any momentum.

I tried my best to help some guys out...

But in the end it wasn't an exciting beginning for the Indians, so draft talk took right back over...

Jimmy Haslam really took this draft seriously.  There was a great desire to address the Quarterback position, so they literally went down every alley possible in determining who they would draft.

And they decided to go with the hype.

Luckily the Indians began to turn things around.  Thanks from help from clutch hitting from "Good Guy" David Murphy...

...and "Old Man" Scott Atchison.

But the real gem of the 2014 baseball season was certainly Corey Kluber.  While I did tons of jokes about Kluber these here are among my favorties.

The Indians managed to keep themselves relevant for the better part of the season.  Which made many in the fan base very happy.

Guys who had early season struggles reconnected with the force as the season went on.

And even tried to be the answer to the QB controversy brewing in Berea.

And in the end the Indians fell a little short of their postseason goals.  But my prediction on the postseason awards didn't go exactly how I thought.  The MLB writers just gave Kluber the Cy Young Award, instead of changing the award in his honor.

The Indians struggles on defense was real however.  Case in point, a 2nd baseman playing left field made the defensive play of the year.

Meanwhile after another disappointing year the Cavs looked to make some waves this offseason, and waves they made.

And the hype lasted clear until the end of the first game when they got beat by the lowly Knicks.

So guess who was back in the forefront of the media's eyes.  Here is Johnny at the bar studying the playbook and drinking milk.

And Josh Gordon made news by pissing away his football career, for another in car sales.

And Kluber decided that maybe he should help out as well.

But suddenly the unexpected happened... the Browns won some games.

And a new hero was beginning to emerge.

Then the unthinkable happened... we kicked the Steelers asses.

We were on top of the world.

Browns fans for the most part were happy.  But the in typical Browns fashion, the wheels started to fall off.

Joe Thomas turned out to be an enemy to the environment. 

Ben Tate was thrown from the building.

And Brian Hoyer fell apart...

So it was time for the young man to take over...

...and in 7 quarters all but proved he was barely NFL caliber.  Then he admitted he didn't take the season very seriously, and lost nearly every fan that he had.

Josh Gordon didn't do himself any favors with the fans either.  

And with Justin Gilbert not endearing himself to the fans, coaches or teammates the year 2014 ended full circle.

Here's to a better 2015!

I HAVE A THEORY ON HOW WE ARE TRYING TO GET JOHNNY TO WORK IN CLEVELAND

Yes sir, the world's most talked about football player is going to a Cleveland Brown.  The national media has zero respect for the Cleveland Browns.  So something has to give.  Will Johnny help transcend this organization into a recognized powerhouse with primetime games, and bandwagon fans?  Or will the media try to dump on the Johnny parade because he is in Cleveland?  And if that is the case, is it even possible for them to kill the monster that they have created?

One thing is for sure, the Browns certainly want Johnny to be a media darling.  I will never convince me in a million years that Johnny Manziel was not brought into this organization because they know if he is good, he is gold.  This fanbase's reaction to Johnny Manziel has been priceless.  So many people have been wanting this for over a year.  The prospect of Tom Savage has done a heck of a job turning former Houston Texan fans into Cleveland Browns fans already.

I think the Browns are wise to the fact that the media is an entity that loves to report on things that aren't necessarily positive.  They would rather incite riots, than make people feel good.  So what have they done so far?

Well Jimmy Haslam harshly proclaimed that Johnny was no more than a backup at a luncheon he spoke at.  Our PR director has proclaimed that the team does not want the media hype to rival Tim Tebow's. The team has uninvited media members to attend the rookie mini camp.

And how has the media reacted?  With violent blasts of negativity of course.  Jimmy has been ranked lumped in with the worst owners in the NFL.  ESPN power ranked the Browns dead last in the NFL.  The media and their precious Twitter has lashed out against our team, and any fan who will try to defend it.  But at the heart of it all, Johnny is still Johnny.  They are getting their fix of negativity from other sources, so they can continue to Johnny worship happily.  And the less he's getting bashed in the media, the less distractions that will be in his way as he becomes a pro QB.

So I applaud Jimmy Haslam in this scenario.  I can see what you are doing.  You know that nobody is taking time to write anything nice about you anyways, so why not use it to your advantage?  Looking back in hindsight and seeing that Joe Banner was a temporary NFL plant here anyway, we may have actually gotten a competent guy to own this organization.  I love the way we have went forward.  Ray Farmer is owning his moves, Alex Scheiner is out of the news and minding to his business, and the fans are energized!

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ITS A NEW DAWN, ITS A NEW DAY

Before I start, I will say I am scared.  Before I even comment on the on field things, a brand like Johnny Manziel is unprecedented in the NFL.  The closest thing I've ever seen to the Manziel brand is Tim Tebow, but this is different because Johnny Manziel actually can throw a football.  He's like an Anti-Tebow in a way.  Immediately following the draft Johnny was the first, third, sixth, eighth, and tenth thing Sportscenter talked about.  This is uncharted territory for the Browns.

We've never had "The Guy" before, and Johnny's hype is unlike any of "The Guys" before him.  You do realize that when the jersey sales numbers come out we are guaranteed to have the #1 jersey.  The Browns will be trending, rappers will be wearing our jersey, we might get the close calls, flex games are ours.  Life is now different. 

I've already heard arguements that this is like the Brady Quinn situation all over again.  But this isn't like the Brady Quinn situation.  With Quinn we were the only fanbase that REALLY wanted him.  A lot of fanbases REALLY wanted Johnny Football.  There are kids throwing away their team's gear for passing on him right now.  From a popularity and public relations viewpoint Johnny Manziel is the real deal.  Guess what, he's the it Nike's guy, guess who is going to be on the "Witness" billboard now? 

The flashiest player to enter the NFL in history is coming to the team team with one of the least flashy histories.  It is a bizarre pairing.  I noticed ESPN's first night having to repeatedly say the name "Cleveland Browns" seemed unnatural and at times even unpleasant for the network.  I truly believe that this will be one of my favorite parts of the whole Johnny experience.  But what now, can you really bench him at this point?  Is there time to develop him, or is the star too bright for him to wait?

I will be the first to admit, there was a point in time where I didn't want Johnny at all.  I watched a ton of his film and will admit I liked what I saw, but had a ton of concerns.  It wasn't until I saw this play that I was swayed to be okay with his coming to Cleveland... 

But just what kind of player did we draft.  Johnny's highlight reel at Texas A&M looked like a collection of wildly exciting backyard football plays.  Manziel's ability to scramble and throw from odd angles are unlike anything I've seen before.  His elusiveness, toughness, and hustle cannot be questioned.  So what is the problem you might ask? 

Here are my notes from my Johnny Manziel film study:

• He is a big part of the Texas A&M run game, this opens the passing lanes for him later in games.
• Mike Evans is really really good. 
• Always in shotgun, will need to learn fundamental footwork at next level before anything else. 
• Great athlete and uses every bit of it to his advantage. 
• Doesn't stick around in pocket long, not sure he knows what a progression is.
• Makes questionable decisions with the football, doesn't seem to pay for it. 
• Jake Matthews is really really good
• There are times I wonder how he gets so much on a ball he throws so awkwardly. 
• This is Alabama's defense?
• I can't believe what I just saw! 

And in the end my film study was as polarizing as the character himself.  He will get a chance from me like any other Browns quarterback would.  But I'm not calling him "Johnny Cleveland" until he leads us back to the playoffs.

Welcome to Cleveland Johnny Manziel, hopefully you and I can become friends.  I don't need another Weeden here.  In the meantime I get to be excited for our secondary!!! 

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JIMMY HASLAM HAS AN UPHILL CLIMB IF HE WANTS TO BE CONSIDERED A "GOOD OWNER"

I had a great laugh the other day, I found a column on Yahoo.com by Patrick Daugherty ranking the NFL team owners.  I scrolled down expecting to find our friend Jimmy Haslam somewhere in the 20's but kept scrolling, and scrolling, and finally found him perched at #31.  Yes 31st out of 32 NFL franchises.  Behind the publicly owned Packers, the "For Sale" Bills, and well behind the aforementioned Colts owner.

Mr Daugherty wrote:

31. Jimmy Haslam, Browns
Haslam was gifted with a unique opportunity when he purchased the Browns in 2012: Deliverance. Outside of the Chicago Cubs, the Browns are the most-tortured fanbase in American sports. Haslam could have been the savior, the man who erased Tim Couch, Art Modell and “The Drive." He could have been a new lease on life for a Dawg Pound that’s sick and tired of the jokes and the losses. Instead, he’s become subject of a federal investigation, and employed as many head coaches in 18 months as the Steelers have in 45 years. Haslam isn’t just more of the same in Cleveland, he’s everything that’s wrong with the modern owner. Haslam is an arrogant, rash, amoral man who believes the law doesn’t apply to him. Someone who will cut as many corners as necessary to ensure he gets as many dollars as possible. Someone who — allegedly, of course — spent years ripping off the exact kind of people who make up the bedrock NFL fandom, a bedrock that is gradually being priced out of attending games. Maybe Haslam will beat his federal rap. He is, after all, a billionaire with more lawyers at his disposal than the average man will ever meet. But Haslam will never beat back the impulses that have made him a(n alleged) criminal and clueless owner, for that would require two things he could only dream of: Humility and empathy. Even if he eventually wins, Jimmy Haslam is not a winner. 

Now I am not knocking Patrick's article, every word of this assessment of Mr. Haslam has merit.  The only part that I may argue at all was the fact that Haslam wasn't ripping off the bedrock of NFL fandom.  Jimmy's company was ripping off other big businesses.  But that goes right back to Jimmy, if you had no knowledge that is how your company was run, you are a pretty crappy business owner.

With that being said, I still don't believe that the other 30 owners that were ranked above Jimmy didn't step on a lot of toes on their way to becoming "NFL owner rich," Jimmy was just one of the first owners to get caught red handed.  Knowing that a national perspective of us puts our owner "Alone at the bottom" with Dan Snyder of the Redskins is a heavy accomplishment for a guy who only bought the team within the last couple years.

Yes it got this bad in Berea

But one thing that was not mentioned in the article is the x-factor that got him the low rating in the first place.  That x-factor goes by the name Joe Banner.  When you join the boys club that is NFL ownership there are some strong suggestions that the league gives you when you are new.  In Jimmy's case, he was still heavily involved in his own business. Banner was working for the NFL after a long stint as the Eagles president.  The league suggest Banner to get Haslam started, he agreed.  I don't think Haslam expected Banner to overstep his bounds the way that he did.

Jimmy looking pleased to be speaking with the media

Banner's cardinal sin was hiring Mike Lombardi.  Not only was Lombardi a PR nightmare for the team, his track record shows that he is the GM hire you make when someone in the organization has more power than they should.  He was Bill Belichick's whipping boy during his first tenure in Cleveland, after a couple stops, his 2nd time as GM was as Al Davis' whipping boy in Oakland, then right back to Cleveland to be Joe Banner's whipping boy.  Lombardi's presence was a clear indication that Joe Banner wanted control over more things than he was qualified to be a part of.

The writing on the wall that these weren't "Jimmy's guys," was there from the beginning, Alex Scheiner and Ray Farmer were already on staff.  I just think that Banner screwed up his job so badly that Jimmy knew that he needed to make the changes sooner before later.  I've heard rumors that Haslam was being teased at the Super Bowl by some of the other owners, I don't know if that is true, but change came quickly thereafter.  I will say that I like how the offseason has been handled since the turnover in the front office.  Gone are the reports of nobody knowing who to report to.  The rumors of coordinators being asked to report to Banner are ancient history.  All of the dumb stuff the past year and a half of Jimmy's ownership has spawned appeared to have quieted, at least until now.

I think that we are moving in the right direction from last year

With that being said, at the moment Jimmy Haslam is still sitting at the worst of the worst of popular opinion.  I don't Jimmy is too happy about being lumped with the worst.  The worst part is that being #31 is actually better than where I lumped Randy Lerner, because what could be worse than a guy who doesn't care that he owns a NFL franchise? But that isn't exactly the progress I was hoping for when he bought the team.

So Jimmy if you want to climb the ranks, the time is now. Lets hope the drastic moves you made this offseason finally pan out.  I don't want the biggest Jimmy Haslam justification I can make to be, "At least he isn't Donald Sterling."

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