Monday, December 29, 2014


 Welcome everyone to the 2nd annual Browns Memes Postseason Awards!

The Browns ended up 7-9 which on the surface sounds like improvement.  However the record seems a bit jaded when you factor in the fact this team was 6-3 and riding high in the division.  If you factor in the fact that the team went through a period that looked like something out of a scripted nightmare.  If you think about the fact we now have almost zero value at the QB position.  So much went wrong in a very short period of time.

So where can we find some positives?  Well we can't, but it is sports and we are playing for awards.  If we can't earn awards the traditional ways (winning, in case you have forgotten by now) then someone is going to have to make some awards up for them.  That someone is me.  So with no further delay I present the most prestigious awards a player can earn from a goofball Twitter account... The Browns Memes 2014 Postseason Awards!

First I would like to recognize Josh Gordon as the 2014 Idiot of the Year.  He is the only award winner from this year to have won his award before the season even started.  Despite tremendous efforts from Justin Gilbert and Johnny Manziel to pry this award from Gordon's hands they just couldn't.

I always thought Browns Twitter made severe fun of Indians Twitter due to the overuse of silly nicknames and slogans... then WRECK THIS LEAGUE became the rallying cry for the backup quarterback to enter the game and instantly become some weird hybrid of all the greatest qualities of Randall Cunningham and Joe Montana wrapped into a barely 6 foot tall fratboy.  WRECKED MY TEAM is more like it.

Last year a streaker in the preseason stole the Run of the Year from the entire stable of running backs.  This year a man in the Dawg Pound shed two blocks from Bengals fans and laid the first hit of the day on Jeremy Hill... one row deep in the stands.  Congratulations Rhett, you earned this one!

For a short period of time this year it looked like we finally scared the same old Browns away.  Isaiah Crowell helped with that.  This lightning run against the Falcons was one of the better runs I've seen from an actual running back in a good long time.

I'm glad that we are retaining our coaching staff.  Our defense did a lot of good things.  But offensively we were a bit of a joke.  Most of the dumb coaching blunders of the season seemed to come while we had the ball.  Take this gem early in season, where the Browns broke almost every written and unwritten rule in football.  And couldn't even get set to run the play...

This year I thought it would be fun to let the fans in on the voting as well here is the results for the fan polls for Biggest Letdown, Biggest Surprise and MVP of the season.

Congratulations to all of our esteemed winners.

Tuesday, December 16, 2014


All year long I've been told that Johnny Manziel is the greatest QB ever to walk the earth.  Not by all of you, but by many of you.  For a minute I would challenge people with a. "what if?" but nobody wanted to hear that.  So I gave up and hoped for a redshirt year.  Then Brian Hoyer fell apart, and I knew I better stockpile some positive Johnny jokes now, because there was a chance I would never get to use them again.  Then Johnny's debut came and it all went to hell so quickly I didn't even get to post all of the jokes I had made.

While I certainly had my concerns about Johnny Manziel coming into this game, he did a hell of a job of making those concerns a screaming reality last Sunday.  The Flail Mary I spoke of pre-draft is almost a gift wrapped interception in this league, that was proven to no longer be a guess... it's a fact.  There was very little positives to be pulled from that game.  I didn't see many of the qualities that were promised to me when I expressed my doubts. I've been told to have patience it's only been one game, but...

So yes now there is fear on my part that come next week an old friend might just be auditioning for our GM...

Yeah didn't think about that did ya?

So I need something to distract myself from the thought that the odds of Johnny Manziel playing so poorly the QB situation will be addressed this offseason, possibly by a guy like Derek Anderson who might just whoop our asses next Sunday, has raised higher than a zero percent.

So I went on search for a worst starting debut than Johnny had on Sunday, out of the 20 men who preceded him.  And believe it or not I actually found 5 of them.  So here is one of the saddest countdowns you will ever see.  The 5 worst Cleveland Browns QB debuts since 1999.

#5 Brandon Weeden vs Eagles 2012

#4 Doug Pederson vs Steelers 2000

#3 Ty Detmer vs Steelers 1999

#2 Bruce Gradkowski vs Steelers 2008

#1 Spergon Wynn vs Jaguars 2000

So there do you feel better... I don't.